Backdoor Revelations

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With time, the “letting go” aspect of Silence Practice starts to produce “backdoor revelations.” Nothing quite prepares us for the immediate freshness of these transparent (open) moments. It’s akin to uncovering hidden treasures in the most unexpected places or times.

In the heightened mood of a backdoor revelation, we find ourselves relating to the world in radically different ways, while being more grounded and present than ever! Backdoor encounters possess the paradoxical nature of being both simultaneously natural and new. While feeling deeply relaxed and at home, we also sense an emergence. Something has awakened that I wasn’t aware of of before.

Our absorbing frontal self, along with its accompanying worldviews and mental habits, leaves little room for emerging awareness. However, through sincere and consistent practices of stillness and authentic communication, we cultivate awareness of the “sensitivities” within our bodies and the subtle energy fields around and between us. We learn to trust the process of leaning into what we “don’t know” instead of falling back into conditioned patterns of already knowing. We engage in this practice both on and off the cushion, in every moment we remember. We don’t expect a specific outcome, but we are resolute.

And yet… in the wake of a backdoor experience, we discover that nothing can truly prepare us for the vastness of that experience. Because… a backdoor revelation challenges everything we have previously “believed” about the “how-to’s, wherefores, and therefores” and turns them on their presumptuous heads. That is the simple purity of backdoor action—direct, uncomplicated, and impersonal. And did I mention it’s also devastatingly humbling?

Jesus spoke about the first being last and the last being first. He also spoke of the meek inheriting the earth. He never personally endorsed the known power structure—whether it be cultural or religious. Backdoor revelations displace power structures in every aspect of life. In many ways, Jesus’ subversive parables are reminiscent of a Crazy Wisdom teacher. He consistently undermined cultural and religious structures. If he were alive today, I am certain our narcissistic ideologies (secular, religious, and spiritual) would become targets for his sharp-tongued, uncompromising commitment to Love.

Jesus also spoke of many being called, but few being chosen. I sense a deep calling in many of us, and those “chosen” become servants to the unknown future of our divine becoming—however reluctantly that may manifest at times. (Even Jesus showed reluctance in the final hours of Gethsemane.) Servants of the not-yet-here future are drawn from familiar or recognizable paths and ways of living into something far beyond their personal habits or “bucket list.” They are given something far more fulfilling, yet infinitely more demanding.

The demand is for nothing less than everything. The parable of the rich man unable to enter the kingdom of heaven addresses the reversal inherent in the backdoor landscape. Our Western tendency to live on steroids of self-importance is living “richly.” This creates a certain psychic, emotional, and intellectual “fatness” that distances us from a direct relationship with Life. Over time, the practice of ‘letting go” and choosing to align with stillness and silence teaches us to travel lightly with our opinions, judgments, and fears—no matter how precious or well-founded.

The refining process of being “chosen” for servanthood ultimately means that we can listen more reliably from a holistic, deeper, and higher dimension of Self. We become effective servants for the greater evolution of God/Self Consciousness. We grow increasingly able to see and act from beyond the slings and arrows of the personal dimension. For instance, when we feel offended, we refrain from throwing stones and take full responsibility for our feelings. Moreover, we do this willingly because we understand that our life—our True Life—depends on it. As Crazy Wisdom teacher Lee Lozowick (d. 2010) would say, “Practice like your hair’s on fire.” When we have nothing left to defend, everything can flow through us. We are free to live fully engaged because nothing stands between us and the movement of life.

The evolution of consciousness into higher, more inclusive dimensions is a backdoor affair. Any prior knowledge or intellectual prowess that might attempt to lead the way needs to be released in the uncompromising rigor of backdoor revelations. The mystics paint images with their words, but they do not provide much for us to grasp. At best, they leave a trace… a fragrance… that lingers long enough for us to realize that we’re being called by a divine reality—distant, yet strangely familiar.

Backdoor Revelations might read like this:

1. We do the preparing, and Grace does the choosing.

2. Backdoors are hidden when we lose ourselves to living only in front doors.

3. The backdoor revelation reveals the truth of our heart. We realize that we are already home.

4. Only the backdoor exists When we have “steeped” enough in Truth.

5. Backyard discoveries “include,” regardless of what habits of fear and judgment “preclude” or “conclude.”

6. Universal law or truth has always been more powerful than our separate suffering.

7. Backdoor realities are calming, uplifting, and harmonious.

8. We are at our destination.