Relating to Silence

About Silence

Silence is a practice. Like any practice, it begins with intention, patience and time.
At first, Silence practice seems only to consist of observing our restlessness: all within us that resists Silence.
Silence is a deep-listening/surrendered practice and relational in nature.
The ordinary (thinking) mind resists Silence.
And yet, the body’s sense of aliveness and well-being thrives within the elegant spaciousness within silence.
 
Initially, Silence is most effectively learned within nature or an intentional group.
Eventually the resonance and connection to Silence begins to pulse within one’s own nervous system. We realize then, that it has been there all along.
 
Silence is delightfully intimate that exists within a spacious relationship to the whole.
Even when practiced alone, Silence is a relational intelligence.
From within the depths of Silence, we discover authentic ways to engage in life with relaxed whole-heartedness.
 

You can contact Laura Madsen by calling or texting +1 (604) 222-4111.

About Me

I am a committed practitioner of inner-stillness, a woman, a mystic scholar, inner-constellation facilitator, sound healer, home-maker, wife, mother, step-mother, and grandmother. My work honours the spacious receptivity of our inner-feminine capacities regardless of our identified gender. Embodied spirituality is a joyful process of discovering again and again that our soul’s becoming and our belonging in the world are an evolving process of unconditional presence.

All of my group and private work is dedicated to cultivating our relationship with Silence and inner-stillness through the process of integrating “what is.” The revealing movements of our Inner Constellations (ICM), combined with the healing resonance of sound, fosters a sense of  “being home within ourselves.” As we come to know ourselves more deeply, compassion for our conditioned structures naturally increases.

I have experienced – and witnessed – a profound transpersonal healing in the simple process of allowing the nervous system’s intelligence to be heard and received. The soul becomes more visible as we trust the healing intelligence within the spaciousness of Silence. I cannot express it better than John O’Donahue:
Silence is a great friend of the Soul; it unveils the riches of solitude. It is very difficult to reach that quality of inner silence. You must make a space for it so that it may begin to work for you. In a certain sense, you do not need the whole armory and vocabulary of therapies, psychologies, or spiritual programs. If you have a trust in and an expectation of your own solitude, everything that you need to know will be revealed to you ... Silence is the sister of the divine. ~ from Anam Cara

An Intimate Encounter with Silence

I was alone in my Vancouver kitchen on a rare sunny mid-November morning in 2012. While enjoying the everydayness of a cup of tea with family dog Rosie by my side, something substantial landed within my awareness. At this point in my life I had been facilitating Silence Practice groups for a couple of years following the completion of a 2010 Master’s Research thesis entitled “Surrendering to Silence: A Heart Centred Practice.” What I did not realize at the time, was the depth of commitment and consequent awakening this regular practice would initiate within me.

I had experienced many major and minor shifts in consciousness before, but this one had a solidity to it — like I had crossed a threshold of some kind. It seemed as though previous mystery-glimpses had now rolled into a solid view. I also experienced a deep knowing that my life did not “belong” to me; that my True Life, my Real Life, my most Alive Life belonged entirely to the experience presently flowing through my awareness.

The more I surrendered to It, the more I became It. How delightfully circular and joyously playful. At the same time that we were “one,” we were also two. At this point my “thinking” mind had receded and all of this felt abundantly natural. There was no questioning or second-guessing. I was not separate from what I was experiencing, and yet “I” was enjoying it.

My heart beat faster. Rushes of vital energy flowed up and down my body and out of my arms. My body was light and alive, and yet solid. The lightness seemed to come from a diminished resistance in my body: I had no personal agenda in this moment, so it seemed as though I could just be there in a sort of suspended and “held” way. Rosie, the cup of tea, and I were held in the same timeless moment. My heart raced again in response to this beautiful congruency, accompanied by a pulling sensation in my chest. My eyes brimmed with grateful tears as I recognized how deeply I am held in this Beauty.

I also knew, with strikingly calm clarity, that I was not the identified-self I had strived to maintain for most of my life. From the perspective of this spacious awareness, the “identified-self” was thin, frightened, meagre, and ghost-like. With sadness, I could also see that this “ghost-like” self had kept me occupied for much of my adult life. Although I have been aware intellectually that I was not that, I seemed to be caught in an endless battle with it: and the more I struggled, the more entangled I became.

Abruptly this beautiful harmonious awareness was broken by a sharp familiar voice within me, “You’re making all of this up”! I recognized this voice as the all-too-familiar voice of fear. I felt a slight heaviness enter my chest. My breathing became more shallow and contracted. I became aware that the middle of my back was hurting. I was also shocked to see that 3 hours had passed in a space of time that I thought was about 20 minutes. I had had an encounter with timelessness in my own kitchen, with my dog Rosie by my side!

“You have a Choice.” I was brought back to the threshold of this expansive encounter by a calm inner voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere in particular. I noticed how much vitality disappears as entangled habits of fear and resistance re-surfaced in my awareness. They seem so very real, and yet they cost so much. If I do have a choice, it is clear that there is only one sane choice. It becomes, as the Buddhist’s say, the choice-less choice.

Regular Reminders of Inner-Stillness

Stillness reminders in my life have come in the form of people, places, and cultural structures. Without their blessed influence, I would not have been able to maintain some semblance of connection to inner-stillness and Silence throughout my life.  Listed chronologically, I am profoundly grateful for:

… my parents, Don & Bette Hicks, who purchased our beloved Shuswap Lake summer property in 1958, before they even owned a home. It was here, in the abundant natural beauty of the area at the time, that I experienced regular states of inner-stillness and Silence.

… our family doctor Jim McKeen who, seeing my interest, began loaning me spiritual books at ten years of age.

… one Sunday school class taken at the age of 12 which exposed me at the right time to the astounding gospel teachings of Jesus. This event awakened a lifetime of passion for the Universal Truth at the root of all Scripture. From ages 12 to 15 years, reading before bed, I managed to read the entire Bible — a practice that grew a deep awareness of a sacred current within my own nervous system.

… my first meditation and energy-healing introduction through the Psychic Institute of the Church of Divine Man (Lewis Bostwick founder). Bostwick taught meditation as an energy awareness and supported the development of intuition and spontaneous knowing while being grounded in the body.

… Doug and Naomi Moseley who, through their steadfast commitment to exploring unconscious “shadow” material, created a safe environment for shadow patterns to surface for deep exploration and integration.

… Lalitha and Lee Lozowick (d. 2010) of the Western Baul tradition. I discovered that the turbaned dream-presence in my mid-20’s was a none other than YogiRamsuratkumar —  the “hidden saint of Tiruvannaamalai” (India) and lineage Guru. His phenomenal presence and transmission is the source of the most profound mystical experiences of my life.

… the Vancouver School of Theology whose academic structure allowed me to combine my love of Scripture  with the daily practice of Silence and inner-attunement. With VST’s academic precision and rigour, I was able to design a Research thesis “Surrendering to Silence: A Heart-Centred Practice” which became a regular facilitated group practice from June  2010 to May 2018.

… Mystic-in-the- Marketplace teacher Thomas Hübl, whose transmission and spiritual integrity is astounding. He walks his talk through the maize of spiritual poverty like no other Western teacher I have met. Through his transmission more of me has come “on-line” and my life has deepened and changed in so many ways. Meeting Thomas in October 2012, beginning intense studies with him in June 2015, and beginning Doctoral studies with his Academy of Inner Science in March 2018 have provided the structures for change. (For more information see PhD Research on this website.)

… all participants in my Silence Practice and Inner Constellation groups. Their openness and yearning continues to draw from me the deepest heart treasures of love and compassion. They are my teachers.

… my husband who, although not obviously on a spiritual path, is generous with his love and support. In the past three decades, he has graciously shared our home as a spiritual sanctuary for my groups, hosting spiritual teachers, and … rearing our now-adult children!

You can contact Laura Madsen by calling or texting +1 (604) 222-4111.