Eyes of the Heart

 

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Every once in a while the Eyes of my Heart open and it seems that I am exposed to a unitive reality that exists far beyond the reality that I have been living from. It is so vastly different that it can feel like a parallel Universe in a Science Fiction novel. To have this experience is both shattering and thrilling. Like waking up from a dream. The dream goes “poof,” and I am more “here” than ever.

Two years ago, near the end of an eight-week Silence Practice series, I asked everyone in the circle to share their reasons for practicing Silence. I listened intently to everyone: “making time for me,” “to have some time free of doing,” “to let go of mind identification,” etc., etc. I was listening so intensely that, at the end, when it came to my turn, I heard myself say “I practice Silence because I don’t know how to Love.” Quite something for the facilitator to say!

The penetrating truth of this statement has never left me. It seemed to send a “Truth” arrow into my Heart that I have not been able to dislodge. My mind argues in protest: “but you are loving,” “everyone has always told you so,” “look at what you have done in your career,” and “many people have come to you for help.” In the light of this deeper truth however, all of these thoughts are straw. They feel so insubstantial and anemic, that they no longer mean anything. I recognize in them a mechanically hard-wired drive to “be somebody.” Nothing more than that.

And in that desire to “be somebody,” I sadly recognize that I am forsaking who I really am at the Heart of me. I am forsaking who I am in God. I am forsaking the moment by moment opportunities to see through the Eyes of the Heart. I am missing out on an invitation to live a Sacred Life. I am saying “no” to being born into this Awakening.

When the Heart opens it as though a different world awakens. A soft connection exists between the Heart and Eyes. They become Mystical Eyes. Their focus is gentle, inclusive, transparent and receptive. They frequently become filled with gentle tears. Everything seems to slow down, and in that slowness, everything finds its place. Nothing is excluded. Nothing. It is not that thoughts and emotions disappear, so much has they stop moving about. They are simply seen with Eyes that can hold them. Likewise, with people and situations. The personal charge is gone. It seems that the Heart is sitting in the middle of all-of-It in a very steady place. And the Eyes of the Heart see where the eyes of the world cannot. They see through the Grace-filled lens of Trust and Faith.

I have had these experiences enough now that I am aware of a certain pattern of responsiveness in my body. It seems that my body remembers more easily how to surrender than my mind does. Like many of us who have grown accustomed to discussing spiritual ideas with the mind, I can easily overlay the body and the heart with “ideas” of unity consciousness. This literally suffocates the immediate awareness of the  experience of unity from within my heart and body. This subtle gesture of surrender is so simple and immediate that my mind can easily dismiss it as “not real.”

I have just completed a three day workshop in San Francisco with the Evolutionary Collective (Patricia Albere and Jeff Carreira). Many of the dyad exercises involved looking or gazing into another’s eyes for extended periods of time, and naming what we saw there through various directed exercises. I could feel my resistance quite strongly initially. But eventually I realized that our eye gazing was opening my heart in spite of my resistance! This is very good news. It became obvious that my separative thought-habits had been exposed and were making me uncomfortable.

The Awakened Heart is primarily an instrument of Connection. Only the heart knows how to bring Reason (the head) and Action (belly) together. Only the Awakened Heart can truly see with the Eyes of Love. And the Truth is whole. It can’t be dissected. The experiential flow of it cannot be made academic or hardened into doctrine. It is no more mine, than it is yours. It is Unitive because we experience being together within it. Through our sincere intention, we can feel the thrill of being within the Awakened Heart together. The glory of Love is made manifest in our Living together through a Reality that does not separate and divide.

I am the first to admit that this is an extremely challenging paradigm to describe. However, I also feel that if we are touched by it, we should honour it by trying to name it — in ourselves during experiences of deep Silence, in communion with others, through art, music, writing, etc.. It has been said that the eyes mirror the soul. After three days of eye gazing and authentic dialogue, I would say this is true experientially. When we can receive someone looking at us through the Eyes of the Heart, the hardened habit of separation loosens its grip. And within this spaciousness, Love simply shows up. And that changes everything.

If this blog post has moved you, please respond in the comments section below.

Namaste, Laura

 

8 thoughts on “Eyes of the Heart

  1. The timing of reading your truth is so poignant Laura. Thank you for your courage and clarity. I am learning how to sit still with myself, as I clearly see now, how I am unable to be with “other”. The body is the gateway, this much I know is true for me…
    thank you very much, Sharon

    1. Thank you Sharon. I also appreciate your courage and willingness. It is interesting how deeply our soul is fed by authenticity. It makes me realize how rare it is. The materialism of our secular culture on one hand, and the hypocrisy resulting from religious God-prescriptions on the other, makes authentic soul expression almost obsolete.
      I feel that we are headed into a new paradigm that not only recognizes and welcomes authentic soul expression, but encourages the profound mutual nature of that within our human evolution.

  2. Hi Laura, thank you for your post (blog). I really enjoyed reading it and I resonated with it so much. I do not know how to love. Knowing love was stripped away from me before I was born. My mother was brutally attacked and beaten up while she was pregnant for me. When I came into this world, I vividly remember not wanting to be here. I was afraid. I had lived in my mom’s tummy until 10 months duration, past the regular 9 month pregnancy period. I wasn’t getting any oxygen. When I was born, I was blue. They had to do a C section because I just didn’t want to come into this world. It’s interesting how you talked about gazing into people’s eyes. I have looked at my own eyes – i.e. in photos and I see hurt and I see trauma but also I see hope and I’ve always had hope. Hope is alot different than faith though, isn’t it? I was lucky though when I was growing up. While feeling abandoned by my father and mother, during my childhood I would have some very special people come into my path. I had a spiritual person (I don’t like to use religious or religion) come into my life. I met him at church when I was about 8 to10 years old. He invited me to his home with his family. I got to see what a loving and a supportive family looks like. He would take me to the bookstore and I got to buy books to read. One of these books was called “The Rebel”. I don’t know what came of him or what happened. maybe we moved and I stopped going to the church? I often wish we would cross paths again because now I SEE what he was trying to do for me and I would like to say thank you. This one person gave me hope. And this one experience has carried on into the rest of my life and I always go back to it whenever I feel hopeless or helpless. With love Laura xoxoox

    1. You are right Laura, hope is not a lot different than faith. They are branches from the same tree. And a vital tree it is! Cynthia Bourgeault wrote a great little book entitled “Mystical Hope: Trusting in the Mercy of God.” In it she speaks of the ground of hope as being very real and immensely powerful–if you have the courage to yield yourself all the way into it. She makes it very clear that she is not talking about the fix-it level, but something infinitely deeper and truer.

      You are very brave Laura to do the exploring that you have done. And that would not be possible if you didn’t have Mystical Hope! And like you, I am also eternally grateful to those who demonstrated the communal nature of our divinity through their unselfish acts of love.

  3. This is a first draft;

    my eyes are tired
    sometimes
    each one goes its own way
    the right one insists on seeing one moon
    and so does the left
    I have been told
    Earth only has one moon
    the Friend says: “Rest your eyes — what do you see?”

    a slow smile
    starting at the infinite sun
    works its way from deep inside my chest cavity
    through the throat
    and the head
    to the sur-face

    1. Thank you Margit. This is beautiful. As I read it, I can feel the smile emerging from deep within my chest cavity too! Would you be okay if I published the finished product on the “Insights” section of my website? It is perfect for that because it is written from a direct experiential insight of our place within the mystery.

  4. Dear Laura
    Your honesty and courage come from the depths, where Truth lives.
    “I practice Silence because I don’t know how to Love.” – Mmm, this feels true for me too. As a fellow practitioner of a surrender practice – namely Centering Prayer – I too am learning to love and respond from a deeper place. Methinks this is what we’re all called to…
    I’d love to connect with you in person to interview you if I may, as part of my research for my current book?
    I look forward to hearing from you.
    With blessings
    Deborah Rossouw
    Deep Life Coach – North Vancouver

    1. Thank you Deborah,
      Yes, ultimately this is what we are all called to — surrendering to the Love we are. Such a worthy, and extremely challenging direction while here on earth! And yes, an interview would be fine. We will set up a time. Blessings returned, Laura

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